Marriage talk...fluff free.

 
This post was drafted up and then just sat...for a long time...waiting to be published.
It's just that it's really blunt.
And it's not something that I'm DYING to share with you all.
But whatever.
The part of me that wants you to read this, is a bigger than the part of me that isn't thrilled to say it. 

So here goes...

Many times, young girls come up to me and tell me how they want a marriage like mine.

They want to find a man like Blake.

And they want to have a love like ours. 

And seriously, YES...yes you do. 

My marriage is awesome and my husband is the best man on planet earth, I seriously believe that with all my heart.
Choosing to get married was the best decision I've ever made. I love it so much.

But something inside me kind of drops when girls tell this to me.

I often wonder, 

"do they realize that marriage is hard?"

 "do they know that B and I have had some hard times?!"

And worst of all..

 "am I painting a false picture of marriage on my blog because I ONLY focus on the rainbows and butterflies?!"

Waaahhh!

Obviously I post about the great and happy times because that is what I want to remember. 

And I mean, who wants to post about the fights, the arguments, the not so happy times?! 

Especially for the whole world to see?!

Not I. 

But more than that, I don't want to contribute to the false perception of how marriage really is or how marriage should be which is often conceived through reading blogs and viewing social media.

I truly truly truly believe that part of the reason so many people are getting divorced these days is because an unrealistic expectation for marriage is set.
We read about lives and come to our own conclusions of what marriage should be.

It's easy to view people's marriages and think they are perfect or ideal. And it's way too easy to compare our own marriage to the marriages we read about on blogs.
Consequently, we can find ourselves unsatisfied with our marriage or feel as if their is something faulty or wrong.

I'm guilty of that very thing.
I set too high of expectations for marriage at the beginning based off of the things I saw in the media.
They were unrealistic and quite frankly, insane.
Now that I think about it, I don't even think Shane West from a Walk to Remember could have met my expectations at the time...ya, that unrealistic.
 But regardless, I found myself getting disappointed when my expectations weren't met.
Like, whaaaat? You're not texting me every spare second you have and bringing me home flowers on the daily?!
WHUT?!
(Don't think I'm a complete brat, please. I was just a total product of the awesome combination of a newlywed blog stalker and a hollywood chick flick enthusiast.)
Poor B was doing everything he could to meet my high expectations and kept falling short because he couldn't read my mind and therefore, didn't know the expectations I had formed in my brain.
A few reality checks, tears, and less-than-perfect days later, I finally rewired my thinking.
Thank goodness I did.
I feel so bad for the times I made B feel like less of a husband and those times I undermined all that he was doing for me because of some pre-formed expectation I had that wasn't being fulfilled.

I had forgotten that what I viewed on social media isn't the whole picture.

That people show more of the good things than the bad.
And that my life is my own and shouldn't be compared to that of others. 

But in an effort to fix that and give you a bigger piece of my own little picture I've created, imma expose some of the bad...give you a big ol' piece of reality pie, if you will. mmmmmm.

...

B and I have disagreements. 

I cried more the first few months of marriage than my whole life combined.
(I'm sure it was the awesome mix of birth control, trying to adjust to my new life which now included a whole other human being and of course, those freaking unrealistic expectations).

Sometimes we give each other the silent treatment.

Sometimes we have to stay up till 3 am to resolve an issue before falling asleep. 

We've had our fair share of "I'm sorry's" and "I need some time to myself".

Sometimes B gets frustrated.

Sometimes I cry.

Sometimes we have to pretend that we're okay in front of people, when really there's an unresolved issue between us.

We both get mad, we both get dramatic (me more than him), we both say things we don't mean, we both have things that bug us, we both have stuff to work on, we both are not happy 24/7, and it sure as heck isn't always rainbows and butterflies. 

But I will tell you this.

I feel like we have a GREAT marriage. 

Not a perfect one. 

Not a problem-free one.

But a really really good one.

A big reason for that is because we have been able to work through the bad, because we want to resolve issues, because we don't have a problem telling each other what isn't quite working right, because we are willing to change for each other. And most importantly, because we are willing to forgive, forget, and move on.

A good marriage is our main goal. 

So we work hard. 

Real hard. 

Okay.

You got that?!

Thank for listening.

and don't, for one single second, think that anyone (anyone!) has a marriage full of only rainbows and butterflies.

That's crap.

And sorry if I made you think that about mine.

I'll be better at that. 

In fact, B and I are literally in an argument right this second.

Haha jk!

We're not, we're not.

We're making out ;)

This past weekend.

 

For the past 3 years, B and I have made an appearance at the Orem Fest. 

We looooove it. 

I'm a sucker for all those tents full of cool things to buy.

Especially the jewelery ones.

Ahhhh. I'm in heaven in those things. 

B's so great too. 

He fully understands my love for rings and will let me spend as much time as I want looking at ones to purchase and even gives his input and all. 

It makes me so happy and I left with some pretty rad rings, so that's great.

We also ran into my bro bro, sissy-in-law, and niece while we were there!

It made my night. 

I love those guys. 

And freaking May Lady loooooooves B.

They ran around the tents chasing each other and eating funnel cake.

(Hence the fork in B's hand, and Maylie tugging at B to keep playing with her)

Makes me laugh and basically melts my heart.

We also hit up the One Republic Concert this weekend. 

The beginning of the concert was rough though. 

We were totally late cuz of traffic, parked forever away and had to walk a million miles..and then they wouldn't even let us in because I had brought my camera. (argh)

Like, what? Are we not allowed to take pics? Cuz I'm literally looking at 5 thousand people take pictures with their iPhone as we speak!

Luckily, B found a way to sneak it in (whoops)...but we were good citizens and never used it. Just used our phones, like everyone else and their dog.

and THEN. I got in this huge line to get us some food. 

Got to the front 20 min. later only to realized they only take cash and I had zero of it.

So then I got in the ATM line (that was also forever long) to grab some cash. 

Turns out it wouldn't read ANY of my cards. What?!

I literally put all my cards in a million times in every direction and starting sweating cuz everyone was waiting on me. 

So then I give up and find another line of food that takes cards and waited another 20 minutes (I was royally ticked at this time and sick of standing in line... and sweaty). 

I finally order some food, pay a million dollars, and then they give me all this food that I literally can't carry by myself. (I ordered a bunch of food because I thought, "I'm starving and have waited in lines for like an hour, so imma order as much food as I want!" Obviously I didn't think that through very well)

So I ask them if they have a box, and they say, "nope, good luck."

I wanted to cry.

People were waiting on me again. (gosh I hate that)

I called B, he thought I had died since I had been gone so long, and then he hurried to my rescue.

He lightened my mood real quick by totally laughing at me, then introducing me to the friends he had made in my long absence.

After that, the night was GOLDEN.

You guyz. 

It was sooooo good!

One Republic was freaking talented. Like beyond good.

And the night was fa-reezing, so B and I had to cuddled tight in our blanket through the whole concert. 

It was magical I tell you. 

And of course, Father's Day. 

I was actually sick this morning with a gnarly cold. 

So B and I stayed in bed till 1:00 and then hurried our butts to church. 

Then we had a huge BBQ with the Sanford and Laws clan.

We just ate good food and played fun games. 

I love so much that my family hangs out with B's family.

It was awesome to spend the day with both my dads who I love so much. 

Hope you all had a stellar weekend!

I'm trying to be better at blogging. 

Sorry I've been bad!!!

App Camp

Recently, I got a new job at this awesome company called App Raptors.

They do a bunch of stuff but mainly they develop apps for peeps that don't know how to do it themselves.

It's pretty sweet to learn about all things design, code, and app making.

I had NO idea the process it takes to turn an app idea into an actual app...it's insane in the membrane.

App Raptors puts on a camp called App Camp to kids ages 8-18 throughout the summer. 

I've been looking at/learning the curriculum for this camp, and it is seriously awesome!

Kids come up with an app idea, put their app into wireframes, learn how to use programs (such as prezi) and have the chance to present their app idea to classmates, instructors, and investors.

Sweet, right?

We are also putting on other summer camps such as Design Camp (where kids learn all things design using programs such as illustrator) as well as Code Camp (where they learn the crazy world of coding...this stuff blows my mind, people).

After running through the curriculum for design and code camp today, I honestly wanted to sign up for the camps myself! I feel like I neeeed these skills for my future business in blog design! ha ha jk, I could never. But still. 

So if you interested, go to www.appcamputah.com or click here and check everything out.

and the best part? You can get 20% of ANY camp if you use the promo code: onthereals20

20% off!

So rad. 

Email me at riksanford(at)gmail(dot)com if you have any questions.

I'll be in all the classes throughout the summer and I would totally love to hangout with your kiddo :)

The year of Taylor Swift.

I did it! 

I turned 22. 

21?
Been there, done that.

My day was one to remember, I'm seriously convinced I have the best family and friends in the world. And that husband of mine? So tricky!

The night before my birthday, B and I are cuddling in bed about to go to sleep. 

He gets a call from his brother telling him his car broke down and he needs a ride.

Obviously I was sad he had to leave me, but Sky needed his help!

So I fall asleep and wake up the next morning to B wishing me a happy birthday!

Next thing, I hear "22" blasting in the kitchen. 

I walk in and see this. 

Turns out Skylar's car didn't break. 

B just needed a reason to get away from my death grip (we cuddle hard before bed) to decorate the kitchen. 

Boy said he was up till 3 am putting everything together. 

Gosh, I love him.

I went and got my nails done, did a little shopping, my dad picked me up on his motorcycle and we had sushi for lunch - just me and him (one of my favorite birthday traditions ever!) and then B and I went and got couple massages.

For dinner, B told me that we were going up to Salt Lake to the Melting Pot. 

All day he kept changing the plans on me...

"should we go to Cheesecake? Then Melting Pot for dessert?"

 "or Melting pot for dinner?"

 "I think people are wanting to come over for cake and icecream later, would melting pot take too long?!'

"we could always have them come over tomorrow???"

"Let just go to The Melting Pot." 

Our reservation was for 8, then got changed to 7, then back to 8 because lover boy couldn't make up his mind!

At about 7:00, B tells me we have to go pick up some jersey's for his dad, then we had to book it to SLC to get to dinner on time. 

B starts heading to Springville and explained that the jerseys we had to pick up were there. 

He had me google the time it would take to get from Springville to SLC - about 50 min.

It's like 7:20 at this time and I'm getting frustrated because we were going to be late to our reservation that he had changed like 5 times already! (I HATE being late!)

He keeps driving up and down main street because we can't find the dang jersey place. 

I seriously was getting frustrated at this point. 

Like, "B! why didn't you think about this earlier!?!"

Finally, he pulls into this parking lot and tells me this is where he thinks we need to park to get to the jersey place. 

I get out of the car and see all of my family's cars there. 

*cue "ah-ha" moment*

He had planned a whole surprise party for me at the art city trolley!

First thing I did was punch him...he totally deserved it for getting me all worked up on my own birthday and trickin' me.

And then apologized like a million times for getting frustrated at him.

My fam was there and some of my closest friends.

  We just ate, opened presents, and hung out.

It was so great and just the kind of thing that I love. 

I'm still baffled at how well B planned the whole thing. 

I literally had ZERO idea.

Such a tricky guy he is. 

^^ 22 baby!

Later that night, B made me go outside and hit this pinata he got me. 

It was so funny. 

I'm really bad at hitting those things.

I probably looked like a complete idiot.

But there was tickets to "wicked" in there. 

So that's great. 

We also whipped out our mattress that night and put it in the living room. 

That's right.

Slumber party.

Basically it was the perfect ending to the perfect day and the mattress doesn't have plans of moving back into our room anytime soon. 

It's been there for a week and a half already :/

Thanks for such a great birthday!

22.

Feels so good. 

And sorry about the picture quality. Birthday pics just aren't my thing.

More proof of that here. 

Brenna's 16th Birthday Party!

Brenna, my second little sissy, is finally 16!

like, soooo dateable. 

And so cute.

I seriously love her so much.

 And for her 16th birthday party, she had a garden party. 

Rad.

Her and her friends dressed up, wore awesome hats, ate Hors D'oeuvres, played croquet and did all things fancy.

^^these two weren't diggin all the fancy appetizers, so they hit up McDonalds like real men. 

^^ huge shout out to mama Sanford. She planned and put together this whole party! Snaps for Cathy.

Aaaand, I put this video together for little Brenna so she could remember her garden party.

My favorite part is when all her friendies say what they love about her. 

I feel so lucky to know Miss Brenna.

And even luckier to have her as a sister. 

She's just SO GREAT!!

Love you Brenna Boo-boo-boo.